…Yes I trusted her, she had cared for me throughout all three of my pregnancies and delivered my previous baby at home. I trusted her with the life of my baby. As the ambulance stopped she dashed out and disappeared carrying a limp little bundle…my bundle…the bundle that had been my precious bump cargo up until a couple of hours previously.
Rewind three hours – I had been enjoying lunch with my 18 month old, four days overdue but no signs of what was to come. Out of nowhere contractions began coming thick and fast, as luck would have it my mum appeared to whisk the other two children away and hubby returned home from work extra early. We were booked for another homebirth all being well. We rang for the midwife immediately who arrived literally as my waters broke thickly stained with meconium, baby was just a few pushes away. The midwife who was new to me panicked and called my regular midwife who I could hear talking through what she needed to do.
Little Mermaid arrived and my first sight was of her gasping for air like a fish out of water, she was a strange shade of grey. Within seconds my house was full of paramedics and health visitors and finally in came my community midwife who took charge, eventually they decided Mermaid was stable enough to travel and we were transferred to hospital.
As I watched my baby disappear with my midwife all I could feel was numb, shock at the speed and intensity with which it all happened. I didn’t see or hear any news about little Mermaid until five hours later when we were allowed to see her. My heart broke when I saw my beautiful newborn hooked up to monitors and I cried and cried. The doctors were concerned about her and we were told that she may need to be transferred that night to a more specialised hospital. I stayed next to her all night jumping every time a monitor made a new beep. I was allowed to stay at the hospital for five days and nights where I kept a cribside vigil in the special care baby unit, cuddling, feeding, expressing and willing my little girl to get better. Having to walk out of the hospital following my own discharge five days later without my baby was the longest, hardest walk ever.
Thankfully little Mermaid was a fighter and after two weeks in Special Care was allowed to come home. Fast forward nine years and we are celebrating a 9th Birthday with our beautiful, healthy Mermaid. Happy Birthday darling! xx
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